The long drive to the hospital

I drove to Boston Medical Center and waited for Chris. I just remember not having any feeling. I felt that I was watching what was going on. Finally, a nurse came for me and asked me if I would like to see Chris. I went back and he was awake and intubated so he could not talk. He looked at me and I knew he saw me so I started crying and told him how much I loved him. One of the nurses told me to calm down. She stated that he was not doing good, and I needed to calm down and get someone there with me. I called my parents and then Chris' parents. I called my work and friends. People started coming to the hospital. The surgeon stayed that put a camino device in his head to measure his intracranial pressure, and he had not woken up from the anesthesia. He told me that the outcome was poor. I just remember collapsing on the floor. The next two days were meetings with doctors and tests. My parents and Chris's parents were by my side. We decided that he was not going to make it and decided to make him an organ donor. I said goodbye to him and felt numb. The worst part was that it was December 23 so everywhere I went, I heard Christmas music!! I remember hearing it is the most wonderful time of the year and being so mad!! I thought Christmas is the worst time of year. We also did not know what had happened to Chris. The train conductor stated that he was found at the train station and had been throwing up so he called 911. No witnesses and no answers!! While we were at the hospital, one of my fellow nursing students came to see me, Sheryl. She told me that her father had murdered her mother. I remember asking her, "How did you make it?" She told me Christ. We prayed together and I felt maybe that was the answer. A chaplin came to visit me while Chris was in the hospital. I asked her if Chris's accident happened because we did not go to church. She told me that God did not work that way. I did not realize that it would take longer for me to accept God in my life.