Becoming Hopeful

I started going to church on a regular basis and even joined the choir. I shared my story with everyone at church, and they were so understanding of my past. I met with the preacher to talk about why would God allow this to happen. The preacher explained that faith was a journey and sometimes it takes awhile to find answers. I started seeing a counselor in Birmingham to talk about my grief. She was wonderful and was a Christian counselor. She encouraged me to pray to God about my feelings and sadness. I began to feel that God could use Chris's death to make me a better, more understanding person. Without God, I would be negative and depressed, but with God in my life, I could heal. I began to feel hope for the future. I thought maybe I will get married again one day and have a family. I began to be thankful for all the wonderful things that were in my life despite my loss. My whole attitude was happier. I had a community of people who cared about me and a God who was watching over me. Maybe I would have trials in life, but God would help me to become a better person through my trials. I began working in the Bone Marrow Transplant unit which I felt I could relate in some way to the patient family's pain. I tried to listen to the families when they discussed their grief. I tried to take care of my patients the way I would of wanted Chris taken care of. I would get down some, but God had allowed me to turn a corner and see the future with hope. I began to work with homeless people at my church and the needy. Working with people less fortunate than me really helped me to gain perspective on my life.