This is a blog about loss and how to deal with the difficult emotions that accompany it.
Wednesday, April 23, 2014
The Move
My parents and sister came to visit me after Christmas and help me move. My parents and I went to the basement in my apartment, and we found all these gifts Chris had given me. I was very emotional. I decided that I would keep a few things that meant a lot to me-his robe, some gifts he gave me like a turtle lamp, a wooden giraffe from out honeymoon, the jewelry he gave me. I decided I would give away the furniture and everything so I could start fresh. I knew my new apartment would be small and I could not keep everything. I donated all the furniture to goodwill. I saved all the pictures and key memories and gifts. My parents flew home. My sister and I began the drive to Alabama. I felt such a sense of relief that I was starting over in a sense. It took us three days to get back to Auburn. We then went to Birmingham and moved into my new place. I was not starting my new job for a few weeks so I spent sometime exploring Birmingham. My mom and dad said that they hoped I would go to church. They were both like you need to have God and church in your life. I thought, it would be a good way to meet people so I started going to a church that some people I knew from college attended. I even went to Sunday School! I had not been to church in years. The people were nice but I did not really get a lot out of it at first. I went on a ski trip to Utah with some old friends and ruptured my ACL. I was so upset because I would not be able to work for 8 weeks after the surgery. After my surgery, I recovered pretty quickly and was kind of bored. I called the church I was going to and asked could I come by and do some volunteer work. I just could not stand laying around. I went and helped update member records. Someone on the staff asked if I could go to a local church for the homeless to help feed a meal, and I agreed to go. I went and there were all the homeless people who had nothing. I realized, Emily, you are so blessed by God. Yes, you had something bad happened but you are so blessed because you have a place to live, a job, an education, friends, and Jesus. I began volunteering at other homeless meals and helping others less fortunate than me. I feel that God used this experience for me to be perspective on how blessed I was in this life. I started to feel happier and more content with life. I still missed Chris, but I began to feel that I was not alone and that God was with me. It was a true breakthrough in my grieving process.
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